An object lesson on word choice
My 8 year old came up with this one.
I honestly wish I could’ve recorded this conversation, but my son is one of those who will either totally stop in his tracks if he catches me, or amp up the ridiculousness and totally derail from what I was trying to actually capture. So I let it be.
We were talking about words and how to communicate with love and respect. Here’s the illustration he gave:
He told us (his parents) to imagine a heart, outlined in black, like a coloring book page. The inside of the heart is white. The outside of the heart is red. If you choose words that are kind and respectful, they stay nicely in the heart. Others can understand you, and no one’s feelings get hurt.
But if you choose words that are not kind, belong in the red zone. But in order for them to get there, they cross the lines. Words that cross the lines end up breaking the heart, which hurts your relationship with the person you’re talking to.
This kid has wisdom beyond his years, I tell you. It’s beautiful and amazing and almost uncanny. If he could explain this so clearly to us grownups, I know he’ll make a great dad one day.
He’s definitely onto something, because the Bible tells us, “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Matthew 12:34) Our words start in our heart, and they can either bring healing or harm. Words that cross the lines of love and respect do hard, while those that are spoken with love and respect bring healing.
Try this at home…
Gather several red and white pom poms (or dried beans), a pencil, a piece of red paper, a piece of white paper and some scissors.
Use the marker to trace a heart shape on the white paper and cut it out. (Keep the white paper that you cut the heart out of for later.)
Place the white heart on the red paper and arrange white pom poms (or beans) around the edge of the heart. Scatter the red pom poms around on the outside of the heart.
Explain to your child that the red represents angry, hurt feelings, and the white represents our pure heart.
Say that the white pom poms represent kind words, and the red ones represent angry words. Explain that if we keep the white pom poms inside the heart, the heart stays whole.
Together, explore what happens if a red pom pom crosses through white pom poms and gets into the heart; or if a red pom pom starts in the heart and finds its way out to the red zone. (The heart starts to break apart.)
Discuss how the words we choose can either keep our heart whole, or break it. This is true for our heart, and the hearts of others. And when there are breaks in our heart, that leaves room for things from the outside (in this case, the angry words in the red zone) to come in.
BUT if we give our heart to Jesus (return the heart to the white paper where it was originally cut out from) even if it’s broken, His Word and His love can help heal our heart and put it back together.
This is such a great visual that will help little ones see the impact of their words. Better yet, it’s a way to help them see that our hearts are at home with Jesus. In His presence, we are whole. He can heal any hurt and restore us so that we can faithfully reflect His image.
Here are a few more verses to meditate on and study with your little ones:
Proverbs 15:1 (ICB)
“A gentle answer will calm a person’s anger. But an unkind answer will cause more anger.”
Ephesians 4:15 (ICB)
“We will speak the truth with love. We will grow up in every way to be like Christ, who is the head.”
Colossians 4:6 (ICB)
“When you talk, you should always be kind and wise. Then you will be able to answer everyone in the way you should.”
What do you think? Will you try this at home?
Would it be helpful to see this in video form? I’m thinking about adding little demonstration videos here, and maaayyyyybe even podcast-style versions of these posts that you can listen to instead of read for paid subscribers.
Would that be valuable to you? Leave a comment and let me know!